Love is Kind

Me: I love you

Husband: I love you too!

Me: Even though you're mildly retarded sometimes.

Husband: And even though you're a little bitchy.

Me: Touché.

I Can Wipe My Own Ass

Me: Hey, I just updated my status about the new blog post. Don't forget to share it with your friends.

Husband: Ok, what should I write?

Me: I already write the blog... why don't you handle writing your own status updates.

Like Husband, Like Dog

Husband: Hey, when we get new Texas license plates I'm going to get one that says "Not gay". Like "don't judge me based upon my dogs".

Close Only Counts In Horseshoes & Hand Grenades

:: while finishing a bottle of wine ::

Husband: Shoobs, getting drunk on wine makes you smart. It's a fact.

Me: That is NOT what you read in your magazine the other day.

Husband: Yes it was!

Me: No it was not.

Husband: What did I say then?

Me: Right then you said "getting drunk on wine makes you smart." But what you read the other day was that drinking 8oz of red wine every evening can be healthy for you.

Husband: Oh yeah. Yeah, that's the same thing. Right?