Wednesday, April 25, 2012

First You Get The Jobs, Then You Get The Khakis, Then You Get The Chicks

:: flipping through channels ::
Husband: Uugggghhh
Me: We've never had that channel.
Husband: Well I thought maybe they'd give it to me today.
Me: Once I get a new job, we'll up the TV package.
Husband: Nope, once you get a new job, we're getting rid of the TV altogether.
Me: Why the heck would you do that? Why were you so pressed on getting a new giant TV?
Husband: Well, once we get the giant TV, we'll get a TV package.
Me: You have...
Husband: I've got it all figured out.
Me: No, you have the most insane, ass-backwards logic I've ever encountered

Siskel & Ebert, You're Not

Husband: What are you doing? Watching some gay movie?
Me: Yes, it's called The Life of Justin Tester
Husband: I hate you
Me: I know, it's mutual.

It's Science

Husband: Oh shit!
Me: What?
Husband: I just realized that I'm a genius!

Get It Gurl

Husband: Oh no I did-n't... turn on Haunted Honeymoon!

Kids Stuff

Me: This diaper bag is like Mary Poppins
Husband: Yup. Wait, what does that mean?
Me: ... ummm, like I keep pulling out a million things. It holds everything.
Husband: Oh, ok. Yeah, I've never seen it.
Me: Never saw what?
Husband: Mary Poppins.
Me: Seriously? How could you have never seen that movie?
Husband: I just haven't.
Me: But seriously, how is that possible.
Husband: I'm not a girl.
Me: That has nothing to do with it. I can't believe you've never seen that movie.
Husband: Believe it. I'm a man. I didn't watch stuff like that.
Me: Coming from the guy who belts out Whitney Houston's "How Will I Know".
Husband: Believe that!


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