Your Mom Goes To College

Husband: Ooops... ooops... ooops... ooops...

Me: There's an awful lot of "ooops" I'm hearing from over there.

Husband: Ooops, yup.

Me: Is it because you're rushing through your quiz too quickly?

Husband: No, its because I don't know the answers to the quiz.

Me: Well don't you think you should take a moment to actually read the question and then try to answer them?

Husband: No. It takes your highest grade so I just go with trial and error till I get them all right.

Me: ::blank stare:: That seems like it would take longer.

Husband: Sometimes.

Tale of a Tail

::While discussing his most recent paper for school::
Me: Even though you said it was half-assed, it was actually a well written paper. Good job.

Husband: ::spins around:: Hey, how's my hairline in the back?

Me: Random, like our conversation.

Husband: Yeah, I trimmed up the back by myself this morning.

Me: I can tell.

Husband: Yeah?

Me: Yeah, the back comes to a point like the beginnings of a glorious new trashy rat tail.

Husband: Yeah... I should grow one. Awesome.

It's a sign

Husband: I just think its funny how no matter what computer program you're in, it tells you that "Dundalk" is spelled wrong.

Me: Because "Dundalk isn't in a Dicionary on the system, probably.

Husband: But "Towson" is?

Me: I don't know why Towson shows as correct.

Husband: I do. Even computers don't like Dundalk."

Tuesday Boozeday

Mike: How did you finish that beer so fast?

Husband: I'm a professional. What can I say?

Me: The layman's term would be "alcoholic".

Husband: "Pro"... "Alcoholic"... whatever.

I RUN THIS!

Husband: You know, I haven't even been on our blog site yet?

Me: Really?

Husband: I don't need to... I lived it.

Me: Hahaha "I'm a rebel Dottie"

Husband: I MAKE THIS BLOG! You know, without really doing... anything, I guess.

Whistle While You Work

::Phone rings::
Me: This is Aubrey.

Husband: ::singing:: This is the MOST wonderful GUYYYYYYY in the WORLD!