Wake Me Up When Movember Ends

::unintelligible growly noise::

Me: What?

Husband: It came out of nowhere. This mustache emits pheromones.

Me: ::blank stare::

Husband: I meant... testosterone... shut up!

Twit Twat Tweet

::While watching Sunday Night Football::
Me: Yeah like that's ever going to happen.

Husband: What's that?

Me: That commercial said to get up-to-the-minute information from the sidelines follow Andrea Kramer on Twitter.

Husband: Yeah, who wants to follow that twat's tweets?