Trust Me, It's Not The Dogs
Husband: Hey when we get new Texas license plates I'm going to get one that says "not gay". Like, "don't judge me based upon my dogs please".
Name That Tune Or Die
Husband: Who sings this song? Quick! If you don't get this right, you might have to die today.
Me: Aerosmith.Husband: That's right. Thank you for getting it right so that you didn't have to die today. I can't promise that you...
Me: Won't have to die tomorrow?Husband: Exactly.
Me: Well that's then, and this is now. And no one knows what tomorrow will bring.Husband: Exactly.
:: next song::Husband: Quick shoobs, who sings this song. If you get this wrong, you might have to die like yesterday.
Me: Metallica.Husband: That's my girl! Now you don't have to die yesterday.
:: next song ::Husband: I love this song! Quick who sings it. If you get this right, it would be like extra credit. Like you could be on death row and this would be your get out of jail free card.
Me: I actually don't know who sings this.Husband: That's too bad.
:: silence ::Me: So... who is it?
Husband: Georgia Satellites.
Me: Oh ok.Husband: Yeah, but you didn't get it right.
Me: So now you're going to kill me?Husband: No, but next time... yeah.
Back To Normal
Husband: The pineapple went bad.
Me: Oh yeah?Husband: Yeah.
Me: Oh, my fault. I didn't cut it up right away because we still had that other fruit.Husband: Yeah, I've been meaning to cut it up myself, but I haven't. I blame myself. I figure, I'll stop blaming you for things until after the baby is born. But then I'll go right back to blaming you for things.
Rock The Bump
Husband: I want to go to Sandals. That's it, I'm going to Sandals tomorrow.
Me: I'm not.Husband: Why not?
Me: Because the next time I'm going to a Sandals resort I'll be drinking mimosas in the morning and margaritas all day. And wearing a bikini without showing off a baby tummy.Husband: Well now you're just being selfish.
Glad to be back folks!
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