Stop Saying Words, Please
Husband: Jasmine is like, the hottest Disney princess. You know?
Me: Because she's exotic looking?
Husband: Yeah, I guess so. I mean, Snow White's got a stupid haircut. She's out.
Me: ::nodding::
Husband: Ariel's a red head so she's automatically hot. But she's got weird 80's hair.
Me: Well it looks so big and full because she's floating in the ocean. The water keeps it flowing.
Husband: Probably uses a lot of hairspray.
Me: ::blank stare::
Husband: Bet she uses AQUANET!
Me: You're proud of that joke, aren't you?
Blame It On The Weather
Husband: Is that lightning?
Me: Yeah, heat lightning.
Husband: Wanna do it?
Me: Why, because there's lightning outside?
Husband: Hey, if you can't hang... just say so. OW! As soon as I said that, I hurt my hip!
Me: Karma strikes like lightning!
Vanity Schmanity
::Husband was 3 (over 8.5% ABV) beers down at this point::
Husband: Wow, Tap 42 is the place to BE! I love this place. I want to live here. I want to drink delicious beer here all the time. Even though it's really busy, I surprisingly don't mind. But really, there's a lot of people here. A lot of attractive people. I'm now, like the 3rd most attractive person here. Not fair!
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