Reading Is For Nerds

Husband: Put that in the blog. You haven't updated the blog in forever!

Me: That is a bunch of bull! You obviously don't even read your own blog.

Husband: ::thinks about it and nods his head no::

Me: Nice... really supportive of you.

Ah, Blow It Out Your Old Wazoo

::Watching Ravens v Texans game::

Husband: Sounds like the fans have wazoos.

Me: ::contemplating what he meant:: What did you say?

Husband: It sounds like they have wazoos in the stands.

Me: ::Does he mean vuvuzela?:: What's a wazoo?

Husband: You don't know what the hell a wazoo is?

Me: No, I don't. What is a wazoo?

Husband: It's... wait...

Me: Bwahahaha!

Husband: A gazoo?

Me: Do you mean a kazoo?

Husband: Hahaha yeah, a kazoo! If you don't know what a kazoo is, you can get the hell out of here!

You Can Get A Good Look At A T-Bone...

::At the vet with the dog because of a strange bump::

Husband: Could that be a hernia?

Doctor: I don’t think so, there’s too much muscle here. It would show up somewhere else more appropriate.

Husband: Right.

Me: ::blank stare::

Husband: What?

Me: ::blank stare::

Husband: What? C’mon I’ve asked waaaaay stupider questions than that before.

Me: Today, even.

Husband: I’m not a vet, but I know a horse’s ass when I see one.