Big News Because I'm Kind of a Big Deal

Hey there loyal followers! The hubs and I would like to apologize for being silent the past few weeks. We've got some big announcements to make. Yes, he's been training in Georgia and good news is he's almost done! But he won't be coming home, he'll be heading to West Virginia for a few more weeks. The distance wasn't what made the blog quiet though. We are also expecting a baby! Crazy, right? Let's hope Child Services doesn't read this blog out of context. Husband was very funny while away at training, but I was super sick and tired and spent my days and nights sleeping or being ill instead of writing down the stupid/funny things he said. But most of my sick and tired days are behind me and I have the energy to think he's funny again. So here we go!

"Hungover" Means I Was Drunk Yesterday

Me: Have you been at Palm Coast Coffee all day?

Husband: NoooOOOOoooOOOooo...

Me: No? Really?

Husband: Well, we didn't know that they close at 6pm on Sundays.

Me: Oh ok.

Husband: So now we're here at Blue Water and it's not busy. It's never busy. But we keep telling them that they would get more business if they'd just fire all these waiters with bad hair and hire some hot girls with short shorts and play some better music. Their music sucks. It sucks! Sucks!

Me: I know. You've told me that same story many times.

Husband: I have?

Me: Yes, you have. But it's ok. Can you do me a big favor?

Husband: Of course.

Me: Can you please promise me that you'll eat a large meal before you have anything else to drink?

Husband: Why?

Me: Because you're drunk.

Husband: I'm not drunk Shoobs.

Me: You get a particular enthusiastic-ness in your voice when you drink.

Husband: Not uh!

Me: Yes you do, it's ok. I don't care that you're drunk, I just want you to eat something before you get more drunk.

Husband: Ok, well I'll call you back when I'm not drunk.

Me: See? I told you you were drunk! Hahaha!

Husband: Wait that's not what I meant. I mean, I said that because you said I was drunk.

Me: Yeah, ok.

It's Not The Worst

Me: Blue Bunny makes Red Velvet ice cream now.

Husband: No they don't.

Me: Yes they do, I just saw a commercial.

Husband: That's like the coolest thing I've ever heard! I mean, besides other cool things I've heard before. But I guess it's still really cool.

Me: So... you are or are not excited about this?

Did You Hear That?

Me: Eeew, you tooted! It stinks now.

Husband: What? Really? No I didn't!

Me: Ummm, yes you did.

Husband: Yeah, you're right. I did.

Me: I know you did. I just said that. I'm standing 3 feet from you, I can smell you.

Husband: Oh.

:: moments later ::

Husband: Haha, did you like how I asked if I really did that? That was funny.