If It Weren't For Those Meddling Kids!

Phone ringing::
Me: This is Aubrey...

Husband: :: in the tune of the Scooby Doo theme song :: Shooby Dooby Doos, where are you? You've got a lot of work to do now!

Me: Hahaha. I do have a lot of work to do since I'm at work.

Husband: Did you like that song?

Me: Yes, that was a good one.

Husband: Yeah, I just thought of it when you answered

Me: It's definitely much better than most of the other songs you make up.

Husband: ... hey...

"No One Wants To Hire A Dummy"

Husband: Do you really have to go to work tomorrow?

Me: Yeah

Husband: Why

Me: Because I have to do work

Husband: Only dorks have to work.

Me: Thanks

Husband: I used to be a dork, once.

Misheard Lyrics Or Probably Drunk?

Husband: ::singing:: If you like pita coladas...

Me: What?

Husband: Shut up Shoobs.

You're A Dog Not A Doctor

Husband: ::yelling back at the dog who just barked at him:: I'm not sick Roo, I'm drunk!

So Long And Farewell, A*Holes

Husband: ::reading back his Facebook status update:: "I want to thank all my BCoPD buddies for coming out and supporting my upcoming adventure tonight. It meant more than you can imagine. I will miss you all more than you know. I am appreciative for the support!" What else should I write?

Me: I think it's fine how it is. You could add something like...

Husband: Something like "If you didn't come, you suck. I'll never talk to you again. Even ::insert outcast officer's name here:: came and we still had a good time.

Me: Yeah, on second thought just leave it how it is. Please press the update status button before you add anything else.

Hey David Blaine, It's Time For Bed

Husband: WTF?

Me: You ok?

Husband: My arm got stuck in my shirt.

Me: ::blank stare::

Husband: For reals!

Me: How did you arm, for reals get stuck in your shirt?

Husband: It happens.

Tom-ay-to, Tom-a-to

CWMH - Tom-ay-to Tom-a-to
by: cwmh